And Now For Something Completely Different

If you know what the title is from without googling, post it in the comments section and I will award you 5 (five) InterNets.

So, as I'm sure some of you might notice, I've put some ads on the site. I originally didn't want to, but as I'm hard up for cash, I couldn't pass up the chance to offer up the blog for advertising. So, I'll say this: I'm not asking you to click on every single one, but if one of the ads interests you, give it a click. Hell, maybe even buy something. If you do, maybe one day I'll be able to afford taking them down. Also, I'm pretty sure everyone uses Amazon. I do...for everything (EVERYTHING). When you think of hitting up Amazon, if you could do it through one of the links on the site, I would greatly appreciate it. I get a tiny tiny percentage of your purpose. Might as well give that percentage to a buddy, right?

Ok, now that the godforsaken self promotion is over, on to better things. I recently had a Birthday. I turned 28. That's ok, because I've decided I won't officially be old until I'm 30. When I get to 30, I fully expect to push it to 40. If I make it to 60, I won't care that I'm old, because...holy shit, I made it to 60. So, I was overwhelmed at all the birthday wishes I received, mostly via facebook. I know that facebook makes it so easy to send a quick birthday wish, but honestly, to see all the people that actually cared enough to click on the link and write a message, it was touching. Brings a tear to my nerdy overly emotional eye. Thanks again everyone.


{Begin Nerd Section Alpha}

Back to order: Thursday I had another game night. Left with what I thought would be plenty of time (again) to get there early. Got there exactly on time after sitting in traffic for over 2 hours. The game went awesome as usual, and it was good to be back with the campaign again. We somehow ended up leaving the swampland in which we were stationed, traveled west, into the woods and toward an epic storm. I was struck by lightning, which was super.

Once the storm broke, we stumbled upon a small settlement. A large tree with a ramp circling up it into a hollow which we could not peer into stood to the north west. Directly to our west there was a small lake/large pond (pond doesn't sound sufficiently fantastic). As I rolled a 2 on perception ("look, rocks!"), this is all I saw, but what everyone else saw was a cottage on the western end of the lake, and a fenced off area which protruded into the lake/pond of doom with a gate near the door of the cottage.

A large lizardy humanoid soon to be dead thingy approached and told us to take a hike. I said something along the lines of "Fucketh this hike you speak of. I wish to engage you in insufficient nerdy diplomatic dialogue!" to which he replied some more dramatic version of: "Aint gonna work, cuz you rolled too low and the DM doesn't wan't you to screw his whole encounter, but what's up?". My Paladin stated "Dudeth, ye shall totally let us pass for we mean not to fuck up your crops and pisseth in your lake. Can we geteth some directions?" to which this lizard dick said "You musteth be shitting me. Fucketh off Sir Dude before I get aggro upon you". This surely would not do. Once a Paladin engages in dialogue, he effin dialogues. "Broseph, surely you aren't hearing the words of wisdom I am imparting. Let us paseth or we will totally shoveth our point metal objects into your various unpleasant parts. I will SO remove your scales from your body...uh...motherbiatcheth!". The king of ugly responded "Oh you done fucked up now son" or some more fantastic version of the sort "Unleasheth the alligator/crocodile hounds of DOOM!".

Dudes come out from the hole in the tree, and start firing from the balcony, dues exit the cottage and unlatch the gate, less humanoid duded are freed from the cage and dive under water and toward us. It would seem as if I had made a small statistical error. The underwater guys start popping out and charging us, tearing at our limbs and vitals, all the while ranged damage of various forms fall all around us. It looked as all was lost...but wait-whats this? The DM can't roll above a 7? And EVERY time I roll it comes out crit or near crit? Shit is on. Long story short, we made some alligator tail kebobs. I put the symbol of my deity on the door to the cottage, we investigated a bit, and then took up digs in the vanquished enemies cottage ("how you like me now biatch?!").

{End Nerd Section Alpha}

{Begin Epic Storm of Doom}

So, about halfway through that epic story of epicness that I have been describing, we noticed that outside the store a mob was gathering with cellphones, all pointed up. We stopped to see what was going on to see something I haven't seen since I left Florida. Super mega storm clouds. Turned out not to be as bad as it looked but it monsooned for a bit before drying up in time for me to head home. Hope you enjoy the attached picto:

Corellon Will Smite The Wicked!

So, act of deity averted, I got home safe and sound. Side note: I need to set up the blog so I can post expandable pictures, sorta like lightbox.

Friday was relatively uneventful, I think (can't remember at all).

{End Epic Storm of Doom}


{Begin Freemasonry/Birthday Awesomeness}



Saturday was pretty awesome. Kelly and I were originally supposed to go to the Aquarium at Coney Island like we did a few years ago, then walk along the board walk. Given the weather, it wasn't the best idea. I instead chose to help out with some of the refurbishment of some of the items from my Freemason lodge which was set to happen at a friends house. Glad I went for multiple reasons, not the least being that I really enjoy being with my Brothers from other mothers. So I sanded some furniture down tot he base wood, which felt manly and handy but left me covered in poly coat flakes which looked disturbingly similar to stripper glitter. I'll do anything for money (no I wont). Enjoy the picture of one of my Brothers in an unknowingly sexy pose.

Craftsmen Crafting Crafts

The main reason I was glad I wen't over to my Brother's to help is that when I returned home, looking like I just collected a bunch of singles using pole tricks, I noticed the scent of freshly baked goods (fat guy super power). Kelly denied any baking activities of any sort. When I went into the back room to take my shoes off (which is where they go for some reason), I was greeted with an amazing site. A picture would do better than words, so that's what you'll get, but let two things be known first: 1) Geeks love Pirates. No idea why, but we love em. 2) I have the best wife ever. You might think your wife is grand, but she's not. Your wife sucks compared to my wife. Because mine is the best.

P.S. That cake was Holy Shit good.

Kelly got me something I've always wanted: A binder to keep all of our playbills from the shows we've seen. It is so choice. She also got me a cool little thing to keep my phone charger from falling, which I also wanted/needed (she listens). She also got me a super amazing complete Art of Shaving Kit including top of the line shaving brush. Now I will shave as Kings shave-after showers, first with the grain, then against it! Wait...ah...uh..

{End Freemasonry/Birthday Awesomeness}


{And Now for Something Completely Different}


So, turns out I'm lazy and inefficient. Going to work on that. Thanks to my wife and Brother Jeremy for helping me through it. Otherwise, things have been pretty good. Starting a diet. Known about this particular type of lifestyle for a year or so but never quite had the willpower to do it. It's called the Paleo Diet (short for Paleolithic Diet), also called the Primal Diet. I will post more in the future but just know that basically it takes lifestyle and eating habits back to our biological ancestors. Humans were meant to hunt and gather, not process food (at least that's the word on the street). I'm new to it, and having willpower in general, but it's going pretty good so far with the allowed exception of birthday cake.

Also, I've been trying to quit smoking. Except for one somewhat recent slip up, I've been doing exceptionally well. Starting to get to the point where the cravings are so short and far between that I sometimes don't even notice them at all. This is good. Cigarettes cost money.

Two quick things before I go. Firstly, play Star Wars: The Old Republic. It is absolutely amazing, and in my opinion, the best MMO out there. You can play for free up to lvl 15 for now, but the game goes completely free2play in November.

The other thing: Recently a nerd friendly company called BuckyBalls has faced some persecution by a bullshit governmental organization (shocking). The moral of that story is: Parents, watch your fucking children. When you fail, don't blame someone else for the consequences. If a kid jumps off a cliff, you can't sue God, right? Anyway, for more details, see the internet. I strongly urge you, stating that I am not getting any benefit financially or otherwise for saying this, to support this company. Please click the following link (once again, not part of the ad system I am using): Don't Let The Government Take Your Balls Away From You!

{Extra Credit}


My dog sleeps like a human, observe:

"Can you turn the lights of please?"

Anyway, thanks again for reading. Hope you keep coming back. If you have comments, suggestions, or other stuff you want to hear about, post it in the comments section. I hope to start doing some tech reviews pretty soon. Also, click the ads. I need money.